Big Mouth

A couple weeks ago I talked about the silent treatment. In a separate posting I talked about the book, The Four Agreements. Today, the combination of the old adage ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything,’ and the first of the four agreements ‘Be impeccable with your words’ come to mind.

I’m a chatty person – to put it mildly. I like to talk. It’s not so much that I like to hear my own voice as it is a matter of wanting to stimulate conversation. I’m not very concerned about the topic conversation, so long as there is conversation. However, I sometimes think I should be a little more attentive to the topic.

Referencing a third posting regarding Old Age, I talked about Israeli backpackers. I knew when I wrote the entry that I would probably offend. When I, myself, first heard about this phenomenon, I was rather skeptical. I thought I was hearing some anti-Semitic slander. However, anyone who has encountered this situation knows that it is a very real deal. I wasn’t meaning to offend anyone, I was trying to make a point about an un-harnessed mind. Unfortunately, I lost a few regular readers as a result. It makes me feel bad that this happened, but I wont retract my words; politics are just not for me.

This is nothing new to me. Both in writing and in person, I have offended people. I have often lost their interest and appreciation. Yet, I do not seem to be willing or able to curtail my uber-candid speak. It is the razors edge all over again. If I were to hold back on my opinions, as uncomfortable as they may be, I would feel I was not being true to my nature. It is, in part, my candor, which assists me in gaining the trust of others; people who work with me know that I will cut through the bullshit very quickly to arrive at a sound conclusion.

Over the years, I’ve been burned many times by this part of my personality. I have also gotten a lot of miles out of it. I’ve tempered my tone and words (a great amount of thanks to my infusion in Canadian society) yet I still do not hold back.

Is it necessary to sugar coat my words in order to be impeccable? Or can I be the straight shooter that I am as long as I make it clear that I am striving for the ideal and not for comfort?