Cow Tits

Let’s get away from the whole Buddhism thing for a while. It’s become too heavy, too intellectual. I month or so ago, in an entry titled Equanimity, I spoke about a professor in university who spoke of being in the moment. One of the criticisms she had for me was that I would over intellectualize things. So, taking her advice, I need to take a breather from all this deep thinking and just lets some words flow.

Yesterday, I was invited out for dinner. Due to some language restrictions, the invitation was to eat barbequed cow tits. Over dinner, I tried my best to explain the words boob, tits, teats, and udders. I have never had udder before and whilst suspending the visual image of the invite, I found it to be quite delicious. Also the heart was good. The barbequed tripe was a bit too chewy for me. Tourists are not exposed to real Laos cuisine which is a shame because it is much better than most of the cuisine they see.

While eating dinner, an army of ants came to greet me and sample some of my sauces and meats. I wondered why my dinner companion did not attract the multitude of ants that I did. Can ants tell who is a falang and who is Laotian? I wonder. They certainly do have quite a sense of humor those ants of Laos. In addition to the six or seven thousand ants crawling around my table space, a nursing dog (most female dogs in Laos are perpetually nursing), came and rested her nose on my lap – big puppy dog eyes seemed to say ‘I’m starving and I have a family to feed’. Everyone had a good time, but I think the dog was a little disappointed that I was not much of a pushover.

Sometime during the course of the dinner, my thoughts turned to my brother. I think about the prospect of my family members visiting me here. Of all my relatives, I think my brother and my father would be the most suited to experiencing the real Laos. I think my mother would not last more than an hour or two. There is a level of acceptance required to be here, yet once that leap is made, it seems somehow more real than the aisles of Wal-Mart and the form mold chairs of Burger King.

Beyond the ubiquity of ants are the giant spiders in my home, the silly geckos who play hide-and-seek in the curtains, the insane driving patterns of the locals, the open air everything – markets, restaurants, beer gardens, barbers, and so forth. There is the oppressive heat and humidity and the guarantee that no shirt will stay dry either by perspiration or torrential rain. Each thing on it’s own is not so bad. Compiled into the overall experience, it can be overwhelming. As I keep telling people, it is not for everyone. For some of us, it is a slice of euphoria – euphoria for me, the ants, the nursing dogs, the spiders, the geckos. Maybe the cows are not so ecstatic or maybe I’m wrong… maybe they are proud that their sacrifice brings such gastronomic delight. Thank you, cows. You’re delicious. If the shoe was on the other hoof, I would happily give you my heart.