Equanimity

Sounds like one of those Madison Avenue words, doesn’t it?I had to look this one up. Upekkhā parami in Pali, equanimity in English, means: steadiness of mind under stress. We also could use the word serenity for the 10^th Buddhist Perfection. I think I prefer to use the word equanimity because, for one, it is just so much fun to say! Also, I think the word ‘serenity’ launches us into visions of meditating Buddhas and prophets and philosophers. ‘Serenity’ also makes me think of Seinfeld. More often, the words serenity and serene are used to describe places and not so often used to describe ourselves.

Equanimity, the steadiness of mind under stress, is not exclusive to tranquil lakes and foraging deer in quiet meadows. Equanimity is everywhere. The potential to experience clarity of mind is within our reach in every moment. On the other side of an argument, on the other side of a crowded city street, on the other side of a Sunday Times crossword puzzle in your bathrobe, there is equanimity.

When I studied in a performing arts conservatory, we used to say “faster outside, calmer inside.” One teacher, one of the most respected artists in her field, was a master at this. Her lessons exposed us to the practice of equanimity. We studied letting go of the expectations of the future and letting go of the success or failure in the past so that we could be entirely ‘in the moment’. Her method of using games and dances to learn state of mind was both very effective and very confounding. While not the worst in the class, I was definitely one of the rhythmically challenged.

Continuing to practice the lessons I received in university, I’ve made a little progress over time. Part of my progression came with age. Part of it, from experience. Part of it came from life kicking me so hard in the stomach, I gave up on the idea of predicting it. However, most of my progress came with realizing that in any situation it is entirely my choice to be calm or frenzied. A person may confront me in one way or another, how I react is still up to me.

Of course, we are taught to react in pre-defined ways. If a person aggressively accuses me of something and peppers the attack with profanity and insults, I am taught to yell back, insult them back. If a person slinks up to me in a sexy way and bats their eyes, I’m taught to smile and blush (or something like that). If an officer runs at me and tackles me to the ground, I’m taught to… hmmm… I don’t think I want to go there. My point is, even though we are taught to behave in certain ways, we should be careful that we are not giving in to someone else’s agenda and loosing the opportunity to remain lucid.

Try it. Next time you are wrestled to the ground by a secret service agent or being caught cheating by your girlfriend, try being only in that moment. Forget about the past. Forget about the future. Simply be right in that moment and only that moment at that time. React in a relevant but absolutely calm fashion. Take note of how long the struggle lasts.