The Just

“The true seeker
subdues all waywardness.
He has submitted his nature to quietness.

He is the true seeker
Not because he begs
But because he follows the lawful way,
Holding back nothing, holding to nothing,
Beyond good and beyond evil,
Beyond the body and beyond the mind.

Silence cannot make a master out of a fool.”
                                    - Dhammapada

Today, I'm tired, so very tired.  All these words keep jumbling around in my head, my mouth, my fingers... maybe I'm getting mixed up, maybe I'm getting mixed messages, maybe I'm getting a mixed drink.  Maybe it's the silent treatment.

One of my least favourite tactics is the “silent treatment”.  When we are four our five, we use the silent treatment a lot.  By the time we reach our sixth birthday, we should abandon this method and look for more productive means of communication.  However, I know plenty of people who still use the silent treatment long past the age of five.

Beyond immaturity, the silent treatment has some other unjust qualities.  One definition of the word “just”: free from favoritism or self-interest or bias or deception, aligns well with today’s quote and the subject of the silent treatment.  When a person cuts off communication, they are in effect, lying by omission.  If it is because they truly have nothing to say, that’s one thing, but I can’t think of a single time when the silent treatment was invoked because a person had nothing to say.  On the contrary, it is usually when a person has the most to say that they enact this childish stunt.

People use the silent treatment to leverage power.  If they do not communicate, they feel they have they have gained the upper hand.  However, there is no upper hand.  There is an attachment to manipulation and deceit.  There is an attachment to the noise and frustration of when things which do not work out.  There is a disturbance caused by silence.

When discontentment arises, it is best to voice concerns.  Once an issue has been discussed, than a solution can be worked out.  Sometimes, the solution is a compromise.  Sometimes, the solution is an agreement to disagree.  No matter what, voicing ones thoughts is how we evolve.  Squelching ourselves only makes us fools.