Ever since I was very, very young, I have had many questions about religious concepts and practices. I used to think a lot of religious practices had to be very stiff and proper. Often this idea aligned with what others thought. As I got older, I had to dig up, discard and backfill a number of those misperceptions. One was the illogical confusion between prudish and pious and how they applied to religious practice. I thought a spiritual seeker had to be both prudish and pious. In fact, I thought they were the same thing.
Prudish or exaggeratedly proper, didn’t sit well with me. Being somewhat rebellious, I resisted embracing anything to do with prudishness, and therefore, I resisted religious practice. To satisfy my thirst for spiritual pursuits, I had to devise my own philosophy – my own religion, so to speak. I decided that I would do whatever I wanted and, if I kept my heart in the right place, everything would work out fine.
Where is the right place? To me, it certainly isn’t walking about in itchy robes with frankincense, myrrh and a balcony full of choirboys. Churches and priests and things like that used to make me think of death and the macabre, not life and exuberance. If the God-and-heaven-and-eternity story ends up being true, I don’t want to be wearing an uncomfortable suit and a pair of dorky buster browns. If I have to act prim and proper and stodgy with God for eternity, the right place is going to be pretty rotten for me. God probably isn’t going to have a very good time either.
My “do what ever I want and, if I keep my heart in the right place” philosophy, gives me a healthy respect for the cause and effect principles – this includes where I may have to spend eternity. Nice, comfortable, pajamas-and-ice cream eternity – not splintery wooden bench in a cheap suit eternity. That’s the right place for me.
Fortunately, there’s Puritanism. Puritanism is not necessarily acting like the Pilgrims who landed on Plymouth Rock in 1620. It is not necessarily wearing one of those funny hats or uncomfortable buckled shoes. It’s not necessarily making bentwood furniture in eastern
The definition of the word Puritanism, ‘having, showing, or expressing reverence for a deity’ gives me plenty of leeway. Puritanism doesn’t say anything about having to act like smelly Uncle Ernest living alone with dusty books in a stone house in the country and insisting on being addressed as “Sir”.
As a Puritan, all you have to do is keep in tune with the reverence of “all that is” – which could be loosely translated to a form of deity. Puritanism allows for doing the things I want to do, as long as I don’t forget to keep my heart in the right place. Not only does it allow for this, it encourages it.
To show how this can manifest, let’s use the example of sex. I could use a different example, but people like sex (sometimes as much as pajamas and ice cream) so it will be easier to keep focus.
First consider prudish sex. Ok, that’s enough of that.
Next, consider non-puritan sex. A hate-shag, a meaningless screw, a revenge-f*ck, a rape… very ugly thoughts, and sadly not all that uncommon, are examples of non-puritan sex. Depending on how deep those horrible feelings are within the heart – how not-right-place they are- it will likely increase the odds of going to hell or some other form of misery.
Now consider puritan sex. You can have puritan sex – more commonly called tantric sex – by keeping your heart in the right place. When you yoke your mind to the higher plains of existence, your heart is in the right place and, in essence, you are being a puritan. If you can sustain that state and stimulate the body and mind and soul in a sensual and sexual way, you are now having puritan sex. This is when the funny hat and buckled shoes become very awkward but if it works for you, that’s ok, too.
How does this relate to Nekkhamma parami - renunciation? I bring up prudish and puritan to help shed another clue on the subject. Look at the example above. What is being renounced is not the act of sex (often mistakenly categorized as desire) but rather the lower plains of existence, the dimensions of hate and fear and greed and lust.
The way we have perverted both the idea of “giving up” and the meaning of the word “desire” has turned puritans in to prudes and depleted the church, the monastery, convent, and the pool of those people who practice reverence. I don’t think the great prophets and messiahs wanted anyone to refrain from being alive by giving up giving and sharing – even on the physical aspect (king’s and queens might have added that stuff in later). I think the message is to put your heart in the right place, put your thoughts in the right place and live as fully as possible.
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