Choices

Choices is the title of the first chapter of the Dhammapada.

We have choices. On the corner of the main street in Luang Prabang there is a market selling textiles and other Laos souvenirs. Along the edge of the sidewalk are a number of vendors all selling baguette sandwiches. All the vendors sell the same type of sandwich for the same price. I go to the same vendor every day. She can’t speak a word of English. A translation dictionary does no good because her eyesight is poor and she can not read. Why, then, do I choose her baguettes over the others? Because she is happy. She has a big smile. She doesn’t care that I can not speak Laos well – she just keeps talking to me. I enjoy my lunch each day quite a bit. Her heart is pure. She just wants to earn her living laughing, talking and making sandwiches.

My guesthouse, Nam Now Guesthouse, came highly recommended by a Bavarian friend of mine. I can see why he recommended it. It is a lovely building and the rooms are clean and spacious. Some of the rooms have balconies overlooking the Nam Khan river. The guesthouse is off the beaten path but not too far from the town center. Outside is a very nice garden where guests and family sit and eat and talk. It is an idyllic setting.

When I arrived at my guesthouse, they were very pleased to welcome me as a guest. However, when I pulled out my passport, I felt a rapid change in the mood. It seemed that being an American, was not in line with what they were expecting. At first, I thought it was my imagination. Even now, there is a chance that I am imagining things. However, I have observed very carefully how the owner and his family interact with the guests. Most of the guests are Japanese. Others are from Australia, England, Germany and Canada. All of the guests who are not American – which means everyone but me - are treated quite pleasantly. The family likes to joke with them and they smile at them and they remember what they have for breakfast everyday. I, on the other hand, am treated with indifference at best and civil hatred at times.

The owner of the Nam Now Guesthouse has a choice. They can choose to hate Americans regardless of how peaceful and polite the American may be. They can choose to pretend not to speak English despite all evidence to the contrary. They can choose to pretend that their guest can not speak a word of Laos – especially please and thank you. They can choose to blatantly insult their guest as if the guest was a complete idiot. They can choose to be mastered by something which will enslave them forever.

“Look how he abused me and beat me,
How he threw me down and robbed me.”
Live with such thoughts and you live in hate.

“Look how he abused me and beat me,
How he threw me down and robbed me.”
Abandon such thoughts, and live in love.

In this world
Hate never yet dispelled hate.
Only love dispels hat.
This is the law,
Ancient and inexhaustible.
-Dhammapada

I, too, have a choice. I can think about the happy sandwich lady. I can focus on how much I don’t mind paying for a small triangle of mad cow cheese with my grilled bird flu sandwich. I can go to any number of the available guesthouses in Luang Prabang. I have considered changing guest houses every day for the past week, yet, I have chosen to stay here because I refuse to allow prejudice to win. Instead, I have gone out of my way to be as polite as possible. I have chosen to give a friend free English lessons in the guesthouse garden where they can see what I do. I have chosen to confront their hatred with love and decency and an example of generosity. I don’t seem to be making any progress at all, but I will not be intimidated by ignorance. Not all Americans are evil and those of us who are not must serve our ambassadorship with pride.

I highly recommend the Nam Now Guesthouse in Luang Prabang, Laos. If you are non-American, you will love how kind and friendly the family will be towards you. If you are an American, you will enjoy the free exercises in detachment – or you will check out. It’s just a choice.