The Wise Man

“Do not look for bad company
Or live with men who do not care.
Find friends who love the truth.”
                - Dhammapada

 

Last night we had a party – sort of a Laotian Full Moon party, if you will.  There were quite a few people up on our regularly peaceful balcony.  In contrast to the daily routine of waking with the roosters and retiring just after the 10pm generators turn off, the voices of our party shattered the nighttime silence of the village.  Needless to say, the neighbors were not impressed.

One of the late-night revelers (it was 11pm) did more than his fair share of noisemaking.  He was drunk on Lao Lao and insisted on passing the glass around after the bottle should have been put away.  He was speaking Laos very badly in a loud voice.  He was making advances towards one of the village girls, despite her boyfriend sitting on her other side.  He categorically refused to hear any request to keep his voice down.

Every 5 minutes, from the road outside, would come an impassioned plea for the party to end.  But no one wanted to stop, so the sounds in the night continued.  The neighbors’ tone became increasingly annoyed.

“All you people talking. Stop it. Stupid talking. Talk. Talk. Talk. You people stupid. Just listen to guitar.  Stop talking,”  the feisty young guesthouse hostess tried to relay the requests to the party goers.  She was, however, the instigator of the party and more inclined to play than to hush.  She is too big for this town – the city life and party lights beckon her from Luang Prabang and Vientiane.  At 19 years, she is an earthquake sunami forest fire hurricane in this placid riverside village.  She puts on a good show, “Hey, you guys, be quite now.”

The loud, drunk, Lao Lao guy gives a loud guffaw, makes a few animal sounds and resumes his bold and futile pickup agenda.  He doesn’t care.  He doesn’t care who can’t sleep.   He doesn’t care who’s shouting from below.  He doesn’t care if the guy he’s handing the over-poured shot of Lao Lao doesn’t like it.  He doesn’t care at all.  I can’t say I enjoy his company.

The guy who doesn’t like Lao Lao, I like him.  He goes out walking, meets villagers, has intelligent conversations.  Another guy, his friend, also talks about intelligent things; the sensitivity of others, the impact of our travels here, the differences in our worlds.  I enjoy his company, too.  At the party on the balcony they are both quiet.  They are listening.  They are observing.  They are wondering when everyone will go back to their own guesthouses so that we can go to sleep.  They also feel uncomfortable by mother yelling from down below.  They care.

Given the choice between the precocious hostess and loud, drunk Lao Lao guy or the other two guys that think about something and notice that we are disturbing others, it’s not a difficult decision.  In fact, it’s not even something that I have to consider.  Such choices do not always show themselves so clearly at the time, but as the rest of the night unfolds, I sometimes wonder how I am so often confused.

The Fool

It can happen that your life can change in an instant. What we think will happen, who we will love, how we will live, can all disappear from view in a single moment. We like to make plans because they give us comfort – an assurance of the future. Sometimes plans fail or change and we are disappointed with how the future materialized. It is as if we are surprised again and again that our lives can change in a moment.

When we think of these rapid changes of expectations, often the catalyst is considered “bad”. We think of traffic accidents, random shootings, a cancer diagnosis, an unexpected heart attack as the things that unexpectedly change us in a moment. The opposite pole, we also think about, but that is the thing of which fairy tales are made: winning the lottery, meeting a new love, unexpectedly getting a new job offer. These, too, can change our lives in a heartbeat.

What about all that might exist between disaster and euphoria? These things also have the power to change our plans. Little things that happen during our day can adjust our course, perhaps very slightly at first glance – and have a tremendous effect on our lives.

“The tongue tastes the soup.
If you are awake in the presence of a master
One moment will show you the way.”
-Dhammapada

We need to be awake in this world. If we are awake we can see the subtleties that surround us, inviting us to live better lives. With our eyes open, we can see the force of potential, the force of change, inviting us at every turn. But if we are asleep, we don’t see or hear or feel these things. We wait in a blackened slumber waiting for the booming sounds of cataclysm to awaken us and explode the unexpected into our dreams.

Flowers

“Like garlands woven from a heap of flowers,
Fashion from your life as many good deeds.”
- Dhammapada

I know a girl who is alert. She is conscious of her virtue, her sensitivity, her awakenings, and she is conscious of right mind and right action. She contemplates the way and the ways of the world. She is alert, yet still finding her footing.

“But what should I do with it?” she wonders.

Her wondering sounds as if there were that one action, one occupation, one gift that is perfect and correct. It doesn’t matter. Be a Microsoft engineer. Be a pharmaceutical sales representative. Be a Unitarian minister. Be a mechanic. Be a gardener. Which flowers you grow are not important. How you plant and feed and harvest is the true test.

“What should you do with it?” I repeat. “Do good in this world.”

Do good in this world and release yourself from your deeds. Collecting goodness, patting yourself on the back, is of no value. You can make your actions your possessions - like trophies on a shelf. But these are only icons of actions which have past – only words describing something that once happened.

Do good in this world and let your actions be a garland of goodness that streams behind you like the wake of a boat – caused by the boat but completely indifferent and unfettered from its next action.

These are the flowers which can be looked for and caught and categorized or they are the flowers which are simply planted and left to grow.

Mind

“Like a fish out of water,
Stranded on the shore,
Thoughts thrash and quiver.
For how can they shake off desire?

They tremble, they are unsteady,
They wander at their will.
It is good to control them,
And to master them brings happiness.

But how subtle they are,
How elusive!
The task is to quieten them,
And by ruling them to find happiness.”
                                    - Dhammapada

Mindfulness.  Mist on mountains from a distance are opaque and shroud the mountaintop from view.  From the valley floor, we look up to the mist and we see it clearly.  From the bottom we climb up to the mountaintop to get a closer look.  When we arrive at the summit, the mist is not as it seemed from below.  Up close, we can not see what is obvious from far away.  Perhaps the sun has burned it away or the wind has cleared the view.  Or, perhaps, it is that we are so close to the mist that we can not distinguish it from pure air.  From the mountaintop, we see the next cluster of mountains to the west, cloistered in mist.

Mindfulness, is like the mist far away at the mountain top.  It can be looked upon and analyzed from a distance.  From that vantage, we can remark on the unsteadiness, the wandering of the unbridled mind and see clearly the pitfalls and dangers.  We can see how ruling our thoughts can release us from suffering.  But like the mist in the mountains, our thoughts and our mindfulness is elusive. 

 

Return to Civilization

Today I returned to civilization with a continuous stream of problems. My friend woke me up to tell me my fourth cell phone of the year is broken. Then I realized the going away ceremony last night included much more Lao Lao than I should have consumed. Then, I pulled out my camera which is telling me something about a card error. Not needing to use a camera, I decided I would sort through the past two weeks of email. I tried for an hour to connect to a wireless network before giving up and looking for an alternative hot spot. I found one where a cup of tea is 4 times the normal price. The man behind the counter told me they only have hot tea, no iced tea – he said this as he was cracking ice for a fruit smoothie.

Some days are just not as good as the one before. Tomorrow is a 10 hour bus journey so it should be much better than today. It’s great the way life works like that.

As I intended, I managed to write a bit about the Dhammapada over the past couple weeks – one entry everyday. I will have to wait on posting them because I’m just not in the frame of mind to do that right now. It’s great the way life works like that.

Wakefulness

Wakefulness is the second chapter of the Dhammapada.
I only have about 2 minutes to say something about wakefulness because I am running late to catch a bus. Maybe just a quote to contemplate while I head up the Nam Ou in Luang Prabang Province, Laos.

"The beggar who guards his mind
And fears the waywardness of his thoughts
Burns through every bond
With the fire of his vigilance.

The beggar who guards his mind
and fears his own confusion
Cannot fall.
He has found the way to peace."
-Dhammapada
While I type these words, I wonder how much more peace there can be. Can I help it along in some way. Can I guard my mind from wayward thoughts and become a better person? Can I reject confusion and serve as an example somewhere to a more peaceful world? We will just have to wait and see.

Choices

Choices is the title of the first chapter of the Dhammapada.

We have choices. On the corner of the main street in Luang Prabang there is a market selling textiles and other Laos souvenirs. Along the edge of the sidewalk are a number of vendors all selling baguette sandwiches. All the vendors sell the same type of sandwich for the same price. I go to the same vendor every day. She can’t speak a word of English. A translation dictionary does no good because her eyesight is poor and she can not read. Why, then, do I choose her baguettes over the others? Because she is happy. She has a big smile. She doesn’t care that I can not speak Laos well – she just keeps talking to me. I enjoy my lunch each day quite a bit. Her heart is pure. She just wants to earn her living laughing, talking and making sandwiches.

My guesthouse, Nam Now Guesthouse, came highly recommended by a Bavarian friend of mine. I can see why he recommended it. It is a lovely building and the rooms are clean and spacious. Some of the rooms have balconies overlooking the Nam Khan river. The guesthouse is off the beaten path but not too far from the town center. Outside is a very nice garden where guests and family sit and eat and talk. It is an idyllic setting.

When I arrived at my guesthouse, they were very pleased to welcome me as a guest. However, when I pulled out my passport, I felt a rapid change in the mood. It seemed that being an American, was not in line with what they were expecting. At first, I thought it was my imagination. Even now, there is a chance that I am imagining things. However, I have observed very carefully how the owner and his family interact with the guests. Most of the guests are Japanese. Others are from Australia, England, Germany and Canada. All of the guests who are not American – which means everyone but me - are treated quite pleasantly. The family likes to joke with them and they smile at them and they remember what they have for breakfast everyday. I, on the other hand, am treated with indifference at best and civil hatred at times.

The owner of the Nam Now Guesthouse has a choice. They can choose to hate Americans regardless of how peaceful and polite the American may be. They can choose to pretend not to speak English despite all evidence to the contrary. They can choose to pretend that their guest can not speak a word of Laos – especially please and thank you. They can choose to blatantly insult their guest as if the guest was a complete idiot. They can choose to be mastered by something which will enslave them forever.

“Look how he abused me and beat me,
How he threw me down and robbed me.”
Live with such thoughts and you live in hate.

“Look how he abused me and beat me,
How he threw me down and robbed me.”
Abandon such thoughts, and live in love.

In this world
Hate never yet dispelled hate.
Only love dispels hat.
This is the law,
Ancient and inexhaustible.
-Dhammapada

I, too, have a choice. I can think about the happy sandwich lady. I can focus on how much I don’t mind paying for a small triangle of mad cow cheese with my grilled bird flu sandwich. I can go to any number of the available guesthouses in Luang Prabang. I have considered changing guest houses every day for the past week, yet, I have chosen to stay here because I refuse to allow prejudice to win. Instead, I have gone out of my way to be as polite as possible. I have chosen to give a friend free English lessons in the guesthouse garden where they can see what I do. I have chosen to confront their hatred with love and decency and an example of generosity. I don’t seem to be making any progress at all, but I will not be intimidated by ignorance. Not all Americans are evil and those of us who are not must serve our ambassadorship with pride.

I highly recommend the Nam Now Guesthouse in Luang Prabang, Laos. If you are non-American, you will love how kind and friendly the family will be towards you. If you are an American, you will enjoy the free exercises in detachment – or you will check out. It’s just a choice.

What's Next

Do you remember the paramis? In case you don’t remember, here they are in short form:

· Dāna parami : generosity, giving of oneself

· Sīla parami : virtue, morality, proper conduct

· Nekkhamma parami : renunciation

· Paññā parami : transcendental wisdom, insight

· Viriya parami : energy, diligence, vigour, effort

· Khanti parami : patience, tolerance, forbearance, acceptance, endurance

· Sacca parami : truthfulness, honesty

· Adhiṭṭāna parami : determination, resolution

· Mettā parami : loving-kindness

· Upekkhā parami : equanimity, serenity

I know I said in Free at Last that I reject structure, but now that I’ve stepped away from it, I miss it. Isn’t that always the way – we don’t like something someone some act some whatever or other and then when it’s not around, we yearn for it. I miss the structure. It’s good for me. I think.

I’ve been tossing an idea around for a few weeks and I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Unlike the paramis where I just stepped right in it and had not choice but to wipe it off my boot, my idea is a bit more premeditated. I’ve been looking for a structure to prevent me from posting random thoughts. I considered going over the paramis again, but I can’t be bothered with that right now. So, I’m thinking of using the Dhammapada as a structure.

Over the next 26 days, I’m going to cover the 26 chapters of the Dhammapada. I am using a pocket-sized copy which I have carried nearly every day since 1990 – in truth, it has gone unopened for years at a time, but I’ve still carried it. This particular version is the one published by Shambhala Press in 1993 translated by Thomas Byrom,.

Now, don't get your hopes up. I know nothing at all. As many times as I have read the Dhammapada, I know less and more and everything I’ve learned has turned into something else. I should know more than I do now. I should keep my mouth shut. I should not think so much.

It’s an experiment, Like business or science or marriage or procreation or the idea that we are all better than average drivers, it has a very good chance of failure. But, I will try to get through these 26 topics, if, for nothing else, the structure.

There is one problem. In a few days time, I will be heading into the jungle where there are no internet connections or cell phone service. I am expecting to spend a week or two there. As a result, I will not be able to post on a daily basis. Internet connection or not, my plan is to spend some time each day on each of these subjects. That’s the structure for the next month. Let’s see how it goes.

Clear as Mud

In case you are coming to Laos and are wondering what the official regulations are, I have copied the notice which hangs on the wall in my room. It is transcribed exactly as it was printed in 1999.

Lao people’s Democratic Republic

Peace Independence Democracy Unity Prosperity

Regulation to link the guest who come to stay.

Staying at hotel or guest house to attach guest inside and forige country guests. Come to stay.

I. In order to tidy the sociality and safety – peace to the guest who come to stay also in sure to the way policy nation wided tourism in Lao P.D.R.

The officer authourities had to limited regulation for acting austene as following:

1. Touris, visisting of the guest had to back the hotel or guest house before 12 o’lock
2. when you check in the hotel or guest house have to bring your passport, document to the reception section or receptionist.
3. Guest house will not responsible for you valuable has lost in the room, if necessary please deposit to the reception section or receptionist.
4. Prohibit to bring any prossession into the hotel or guest house that illegality.Including other weapons exception the officer authori ties military who’s allow to get alicence to hold agun only.
5. Disallow to apply another dopes and betting in the guest house or hotel.
6. Every tim you get in and get out please locked your room then bring the key room to the receptionist before you leaving out of the room.
7. checking out of the guest house, hotel always before 12 o’clock in the afternoon and inspected all your belonging before you get out of the room.
8. Forbid to get every thing in the room that belong to the hotiel, guest house, whenyou checking out the hotel or guest house.
9. Please meet your guests at the reception room that guest house, hotle had provided. Awesom received or lead the guests in to your room before you get allowed from the staff of the hotel,guesthouse.
10. If any one not perform this regulation, will get penalty to put on trialby the law.

Luangprabang

Immigratin and foreignes mancegement

02-Apr-1999

New Tricks

Here’s a news flash. The world has changed. It’s always changing. What is good for you today, may not apply tomorrow. What was annoying back then makes me smile today. The ants in my laptop that drove me nuts a year ago are now ants in my pants and somehow they don’t bother me at all. They don’t even bite. The world is always changing and will continue to change. There is a reason why we use digital screens instead of stone tables in the modern world.

Many people think that to be a monk you need to wear ochre, orange, or brown robes and live in a temple and not drink or smoke or have sex or pretty much anything other than read and meditate and pray. Monks light incense and they shave their heads and they often wear funny hats and don’t interact with people outside the monastery. They do nutty things like whip themselves for impure thoughts and wear hair shirts to learn humility. Yes, this has been the way for thousands of years. The world has changed.

No longer do the merchants support the monks to ensure redemption. No longer are great monasteries built so that mendicants can pursue a spiritual path free of charge. Today, we must fend for ourselves.

Is this an abandonment of Buddhist principles? Not at all. Some people in Laos cringe and discredit that I was once a monk because I was married (to a nun) at the time. Just recently I told this to some Laos girls and they were so revolted by the thought of a monk marrying a nun, it looked as if they would vomit. There is nothing in the dhamma that says you must follow the dogma of 2000 years ago in order to follow the path. In fact, if you read closely, you will see that it doesn’t matter at all.

In the Bangkok Post yesterday, there was an article about the upcoming observance of the birthday Siddhartha Gautama Buddha. The article focused on Danai Chanchaochai, the CEO of a public relations firm in Bangkok. I found the article to be perfectly aligned with my own beliefs of combining spirituality and modern necessity.

“…dhamma is a natural force, and if we are pursuing a working life we can walk the dhamma path and the two will be going in the same direction. I found that everything in our lives – work, leisure, friends, partners, faith – are all inseparable from dhamma.” – Danai Chanchaochai

I’m not sure why, but it helps me along the way to know that I am not some lunatic trying to cut corners and that there are others who also believe that you can pursue spirituality (watch out! That’s a trap!) without going back to the dark ages and a perfectly useless dogma for today’s world.

Is this just about Buddhism? Not at all. No matter what faith you find is best to help you along the path, it is important to know that the world is changing and no matter who your messiah may be, they probably wanted you to stay current. The world is changing very fast and the batteries on my laptop are running out and there is an ant in my pants and a Beer Lao dark before me and a big smile on my face because I have no guarantees that I will live beyond this moment.

How about you? Are you happy in this moment? Did you think you had to wear a habit to talk to God? Think again, that was soooo five minutes ago.