What do you do with bad days? Bad days come and go. These are days when cell phones are lost. Medicine is forgotten. A pub is wanted, but ended up in a club. Not expecting a club, you’re dressed all wrong. The flies, the gnats, the mosquitoes, the beggars wont leave you alone. A favourite t-shirt gets a rip in it. You are overcharged, you overpay and are short-changed and you realized it only when it’s too late. There’s a big pimple on your nose. The cramps are so bad only pain and Advil exist. On these days, people are yelled at, they taken advantage of, they are abused. It seems like everyone is against you, despises you, thinks you a fool. The prospect of romance no longer exists. Too tired to think or eat or sleep, the bed is uncomfortable, it’s hot and it’s humid and there is no fan and sleep doesn’t come. 
When sleep finally comes, the rooster starts his day. You are the only one who believes in something. You loose your job, your lover, your friends, your pet, your favourite something or other. You can’t find a parking spot. You wet your pants. You crap your pants. You arrive at your front door hoping the neighbors don’t notice the funny way of walking. Birthdays and anniversaries get forgotten. Cakes burn. A gypsy pickpockets a wallet. Passwords are lost. There is too much hair in the shower drain – it’s grey too young. The boss is overly demanding and unsympathetic. The computer runs too slow. The computer stops working. The computer can not be fixed. The photographer is late. Everyone notices the sweat-stained armpits during a presentation. You find out what everyone knew, but no one told you until too late. You are too young and can not wait to be older. You are too old and wish you had not squandered your youth. Batteries are dead. A bad driver cuts slams into a new car. You are assigned the middle seat between two oversized people on a very long flight. The baby is colicky. The kitten wants to play with your pantyhose. The dog pooped on the rug. You punish the dog and the cat and the kids and someone punishes you for being too harsh. No one gives you a break.
What do you do with bad days?
It’s not easy when life seems to want only for you to have a bad day. The feeling of curling up and hiding overwhelms. But curling up and hiding doesn’t work. Lashing out at those around you only exasperates the badness you already feel. Live easy and live fully. The life you are given is precious, do not waste in by not trying to prevail in one way or another.
How? I call it emotional self-reliance. It is a way to feel the sadness, the hurt, the desperation and to know that this too shall pass. When we give up, when we abandon emotional self-reliance, nothing is changed. The world will continue to do these things whether we hold on tight or we let go. Have confidence that another good moment, another good day, another bad day, life, death and another cell phone to be lost will come your way – this is emotional self-reliance.
Sorry, Mom, I lost my cell phone yesterday so I can not call you for Mother’s Day. I love you even when I can not tell you - even when everyone is having a bad day.
1 comment:
On really bad days when the trouble has piled on like a stack of heavy metal crushed cars in the junk yard and it feels like I can't get up from underneath it all, I often just sit down and cry. A nice therapeutic cry, when some part of me is able to console the "i give up" part of me. I find that process quite amazing actually.
I am having one of those days today. One of the best things for me about getting older is understanding even in the depths of the moment, that this is all very transitory. The sun will probably sparkle tomorrow and some of this sadness will be lifted. It's just life after all, and I feel better already for writing this.
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