Ladyboys

One thing I like about Southeast Asia is the ladyboy situation. No! Now, let’s not jump to conclusions here, folks. I’m not interested in ladyboys. Men who dress as women just don’t turn me on. I am also not interested in dressing in women’s clothing (although, one time a girlfriend had me put on her panties in bed and that was sort of nice, but I think it was because they were hers and I really liked that girl). Back to the story, what I like about the lady-boy situation here in Southeast Asia is the acceptance of it.

I don’t have any illusions that being a gay man who dresses like a woman is an easy task anywhere. It takes balls to do what they do. In a “mass hypnotic” setting, like a masquerade party or S&M dungeon, it’s probably kinky and fun and relieving and not all that threatening. But just out there with everyone else everyday, doing what you do, letting others do whatever they do, that must be hard.

Imagine yourself in your local pub, restaurant, or Starbucks pocket-emptying-facility. If a man in drag – and I mean a convincing man in drag, not a frat boy prank – if he walked into this place you’re imagining, do you think a single person would refrain from staring and commenting? Unless your local pub is a transvestite-friendly establishment, or frequented by tv-adjusted people, probably nearly every person would have something to say. I’m just imagining here.

Now switch to Southeast Asia. Sure, some people make comments about the ladyboys here, mostly foreigners. But, no one freaks out. No one concocts endless innuendo. No one seems to forget that they have their own issues to deal with first. (Maybe it’s not all as rosy as I paint it; I am still an outsider). It seems that people around here have clued in on the fact that life can be a pretty crappy experience if you adhere to everyone else’s rules and if you have found something to offset that crappiness, like dressing up in skirts, all the power to you.

So continuing with the thought of acceptance and ladyboys, here’s something that happened over the last few days. It has a few points on the subject, but it’s really just something to tickle your stream of consciousness.

My temporary “local” here in Vientiane is a bit of a brothel. It’s a fully legit bar catering to expat football fans, expat chronic drinkers, just visiting chronic drinkers and the occasional lost backpackers looking for a more dodgy experience. It has a lot of regulars. And it caters to the local prostitutes.

The other night, there was a falang, a foreigner, in drag. He was tall with long blond hair. He wore his hair down and stringy. He wore an un-padded black corset, a grey ankle-length skirt and silver flats. He had applied makeup like a child playing in her mother’s makeup closet. He was completely unconvincing in all manner. I understood what his deal was; I’ve seen it frequently in the western world. But it’s surprising to report, the locals were aghast!

One local I spoke to, claimed she had never seen a falang in drag before – they all agreed. She whispered very confidentially that she found him quite ugly. He also danced for a while and while not a bad dancer, he was a terrible ladyboy dancer. He danced like he had a … you know. My confidant, the Laos patrons, the expats, the staff, all stared wide-eyed and astonished. Eventually, she suggested we drop the subject, for fear that feelings might be hurt. How accepting is that!? That was a few nights ago, before the mud incident I’m trying to forget about.

Well, tonight at dinner, wouldn’t you know it, as I sipped a highly indulgent glass of red wine, she, as a he, passed by. She, the unconvincing cross-dresser from the other night. I was happy to see that he donned more appealing attire, t-shirt and jeans. Then, I noticed something queer. The girl walking along side of him (I had noticed her just yesterday in a café), was clearly his girlfriend. So far, nothing is strange. But upon a more detailed examination of this girl's features, I noticed she looks like a boy! She is small, has a masculine jaw line, cropped hair, is flat-chested, hip-less, and overall, she is attractive. She also dresses like a man. Imagine that.